When I started this page within AHPCH, I didn't really have much of an idea as to the direction I wanted to go.
A part of me felt this page would be mainly therapeutic, where I could write about the emotions behind things I struggle with and hopefully learn to better understand myself. Another part of me felt that I could use this page to host weekly challenges for healthy life-style habits...and another thought I could chronicle inspirational stories, tips, exercise routines, and even healthy recipes.
Perhaps all of these things would be appropriate content, and perhaps I will pursue these ideas further...but, I find that before beginning any type of new journey it is important to have an idea of the outcome you would like to achieve and then figure out the best way to achieve it.
There are two things that I hope to accomplish through this experience...
First, I want to learn to accept who I am regardless of how I look on the outside. I know that on the inside I am the same, thick or thin, plus-size or petite. But, I also know that feeling confident with who I am isn't always the easiest thing. It's hard to walk through life with self-assurance when a little voice inside your head speaks words of insecurity.
Honestly, I find this goal to be the most terrifying because I know it will require that I push myself beyond the comfort-zone I have lived in comfortably for several years. It means that I'll have to stop allowing things to scare me, intimidate me, and even hurt me. It means that any time I find myself shying away, I'll have to change course, face-it, and challenge myself to push through it.
It's not going to be easy.
Second, I want to work my way back to a healthier state. This means, eat healthier, exercise more, and get proper rest. Each of these three things I have neglected for years. I've lived off of eating out, rarely getting my heart-rate up, and sleeping an average of 5 hours per-night. Not a healthy combination--and because of it, I am slow, I am heavy, I am always tired, and I get sick like kids on the playground.
So here's the deal...I'm quitting those things cold turkey.
At first, my plan was to ease into this new lifestyle, but I'm afraid that will leave me with too many opportunities to fall back into my same-ol' ways.
Now, my exercise routine will change from no activity to three days per-week of resistance training, and five days of at least 30 minutes of cardio. My diet will become low carb, low sugar, and my rest will be at least 7-8 hours per night.
A complete change--a neccessary change.
You might wonder why I've decided to take these drastic steps, and how I plan to be successful after living in my bad habits for all of this time. Well, the answer actually took me a while to come to, but here's how I figure...
I've spent the last 7 years living my life the way that I wanted to live it. I ate what I want, I exercised only when I felt like it (which was hardly ever), and I stayed up late watching meaningless television shows. I've had my fun. Now, I feel that I've exhausted the luxury that I once enjoyed. Sure, I can keep living the way that I always have, which will lead me even further down this unhealthy path, or I can choose to change.
When you're traveling, if you no longer want to wind up where you're heading, you must change your course. You must turn the car around, veer left or right, or choose another road. You can't do it gradually, you just have to do it.
But, of course I understand that it's not as simple as turning the car around. There are many emotional ties that I will need to break as I go. I am only human. I'm sure that I will fall along the way. I'm sure that there will be many times that I'll need to pick myself back up to get back on course.
I won't fault myself for that.
But I will change. I'll change the way I look at life, and what things are most important to me. I'll change the way I deal with the excuses that flood my mind to allow myself an escape. The plan is to change, so change is what I'll do.