Just had to take a quick minute to tell you about the terrifying experience I had this weekend. Well...it was terrifying to me at least....not sure how it will stack up for the rest of you.
So there I was, minding my own business, working on the curtains for the master bedroom in my house. It was a nice day outside (this time of year in Arizona is beyond beautiful), so I cracked the windows to take advantage of the nice cross breeze.
Busy as a bee (ha. ha.)...ironing away, I suddenly noticed that the humming of my gleeful tune was beginning to sound a lot like bzzzzz bzzzzz bzzzzzzzz.
"Oh shoot," I thought, "A fly must have come in." (Did I mention that my windows do not have screens on them? It's on the to do list.)
BZZZZZ. BZZZZZ. BZZZZZ.
It didn't take long for me to realize that heart-wrenching sound that only little flying insects with big pointy stingers make.
Panicking, I jumped up and looked around to locate the devil. He had flown into the hallway between the living room and the family room.
Seizing my opportunity I ran over to the windows by the dining room table (where he got in) and shut them to block any of his bee buddies from entering Casa de Uhrich.
At this point, I wasn't really sure how I was going to take care of the situation. I mean, its not like me and Mr. Bee can just live together in perfect harmony. It would never work!
Grabbing one of the curtain panels I stood to face the bee like a torero faces a raging bull. This is what I looked like..minus the hat...and the get up...and the fact that it's a man. Okay....pretty much just imagine me with the stance and the sheet!
Now that I was armed I knew I needed to get enemy out. I opened the door (because logically it made sense that his bee buddies would come in through the window, just like he did, rather than through the door!) but my little bee friend decided to fly back over to the window to make his escape.
Unfortunately, the bee did not realize that I had already closed the window. Thunk....thunk....thunk...
Over, and over, and over again. You would think he would realize after a few times of crashing into the glass that the option of getting out that way had been removed, but no. Poor little guy seemed eager for a concussion.
Seeing that the bee was oddly entertained with crashing into the window, I seized yet another golden opportunity to go and grab my weapon of war.
Yes, folks. I brought out the bug spray. I would have like to have seen the bee live, but unfortunately I couldn't see another way for me to get him over to the door for a safe exit without him first turning on me, and jabbing his stinger into my flesh.
It was either me, or him...and after all, it was my house that he barged into. I plea self-defense!
A good distance away, I gave it a shot, spraying what I thought would be a jet of bug spray in the bees direction. Well, what I thought would shoot out rapidly and carry a great distance actually wound up being only a cloudy mist in my immediate vicinity.
Now I'm not sure how many eyes bees have, but I'm sure he saw me as I creeped ever closer and sprayed again. I thought he would lunge and advance for the attack, but instead he maintained his focus on the window.
Miraculously, after receiving the spray of death, the bee could still fly. Again, fearing for my life, I administered another spray....then another....then another, until my house was fumigated to levels even I was struggling to tolerate.
Eventually, he fell...down to his death, and here he lay:
Resting in peace, on a bed of nylon, my little bee friend in eternal slumber. To honor him, I created a tomb, and a headstone:
Well...okay...maybe I just put that there because I was afraid that somehow, with all of his little bee might, he would push over the cup that I used to keep him in one spot while he was...uh....passing away.
To all of you bee lovers out there, I really am sorry. Please know, I did want for him to continue with his life, but my incredible fear of anything that can inflict pain upon me overtook my sense of reason. Hate me if you will, but also remember that our little bee friend is in a far better place then this crazy world we live in.